Here is something you need to know about me…I am notoriously embarrassing myself. I am a natural clutz that says and does all the wrong and entirely inappropriate things. Steve is always so embarrassed by me. So, for your enjoyment, and for Steve to cringe while reading this at his office, I am doing a new series of my most embarrassing slash ridiculously not ok moments. Taking it back about 11 years for my first of the series of “unfortunate events”. 😉
When Steve and I were first married, I had to supplement our income with photography. I was shooting weddings every weekend. I was starting to get burned out but we needed it. I remember one particular wedding, the ceremony had just finished and now it was time for the dreaded family photos. I say dreaded because bossing a bunch of overly excited grown adults is not my idea of fun. You think kids don’t listen? Try a group of adults that are celebrating nuptials. No.one.listens.
So I was literally dripping sweat with my huge camera as I yelled at this group of people I didn’t know and that had zero intentions of calming down for photos. I finally got this particular families attention and so I started placing everyone in the order I envisioned. The worst part is that you usually don’t know anyone’s names so you are throwing out generic, “Hey guy” or “You there” or “Friend of the bride” and arranging them in an aesthetically pleasing manner.
I had been up most of the night before, nursing my giant baby, Bo. So at this particular wedding, I wasn’t the best decision maker in history. I was doing a large group photo and I had put the bride and groom front and center and was setting everyone up around them. I looked at one particular light haired woman and said, “Grandma, scoot in towards the bride.”
Everyone looked at me confused, including “Grandma”. In fact, “grandma” was looking over her shoulder to see who I was looking for. So I repeated myself and she pointed to herself, with a confused “Me?” And I nodded in response. Guys, she wasn’t grandma. Not only was she not grandma but, she was the not so older sister. I felt my face turn beet red…I felt so bad. I had made a really dumb assumption which unfortunately wasn’t unusual for me, as you will continue to find out.
The family was visibly disgusted with me and I don’t blame them. What a terrible way to tell someone, “You know what? You have aged. Not just kinda, but a ton. You look at least 45 years older than you are.” 🤦🏻♀️ So of course they were horrified with me. It was an embarrassing situation for all of us. But the best part, I still had to take a ton of pictures, so I had to just continue bossing people around, move on and pretend like that had never happened. I am getting hives just thinking about it now. I have no doubt I am now the brunt of this families inside jokes at family parties and you know what? I deserve that.