Beating Hearts

I woke up yesterday feeling blah. A typical Monday morning times 100. I miss Hayes so much sometimes. These down times usually last me an hour or two, but by yesterday afternoon, I realized I was still feeling the funk of my new normal. I sat on the couch, Peppa Pig blasting in the background when all of a sudden, I heard the front door open and Heath taking off down the street in laughter. The babies have been escaping lately and in that moment of hearing his giggles drifting away, I immediately regretted the fact that I hadn’t invested in the chain locks I had been looking at the week prior. And with a frustrated groan I headed after him.

Let me just say, my three year olds are fast, like really really fast. I am worn out every minute by my two toddlers. They single handedly have been the catalyst for burning off all my baby fat and causing so many gray hairs I can’t even count. No joke. Needless to say, Heath was halfway down our dead end street and his bare feet were quickly slapping down the pavement.

I took off and moved faster than I remembered I still could. I was getting closer when Heath spotted me over his shoulder and churned his little feet even faster than he had been. I kicked it up one more gear until I finally reached him, grabbed him under his arms and swung him up into the air. I laughed as he squealed out in joy and felt the adrenaline pumping in my ears. My heart was beating for what felt like the first time that day. It reminded me of a quote I read recently.

“Having a rough morning? Place your hand over your heart. Feel that? That’s called purpose. You are alive for a reason. Don’t give up.”

The reasons for my heart beating are endless. I have my beautiful children and my favorite person ever, Steve. I have a lot to be sad for, and I let myself feel that often, but I also know that if I allowed myself, I would be heartbroken and sleeping my life away in my bed for far too long.

It made me ask myself, “What else makes my heart beat?” Sometimes it is the big obvious things like my family, but sometimes it is the small, seemingly pointless things that get my heart beating with purpose.

While I have big goals like ridding the world of the horrors of childhood cancer, I also have the small goals sometimes as well. Reading an inspiring article, drinking a Coke Zero on the back porch during sunset, taking a shower and getting ready, and my heck, even getting out of bed! All of these are simple accomplishments that remind me that I am alive, with a beating heart and a purpose and really, kids that adore me!

So the next time you wake up, not wanting to face the day to day; put your hand on your heart and feel….know that you have a purpose!

5 thoughts on “Beating Hearts

  1. April

    As I lay here not able to sleep knowing my Liam has a spinal tap in the early morning hours, I needed to read this tonight Savanna. You are always so beautifully inspiring & wise.💚

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